Mary MacDonald — Baddie model and dear friend — was born in Kuwait to a Filipino mother and caucasian American father, raised in Saudi Arabia, and went to college in Colorado where she now lives.
What are five words to describe yourself?
Adventurous. Courageous. Challenging. Non-conforming. Unique.
“The constant change in my life led me to be fiercely independent” explains Mary. “For a long time, I thought it was normal to rely only on yourself, because, I figured, that’s the only person you can count on.”
It is true that absolute independence has become a rallying call for many modern women, a signal to others that we are impenetrable. But are we? And even more importantly, should we be? It was in 1943 that US psychologist Abraham Maslow set out his pyramid of human needs, which showed ‘belongingness’ as a human requirement to achieving self-actualization.
As Mary learned, denying our basic human need for acceptance and belonging can create negative side effects, including self-doubt, insecurity and loneliness.
“When I finally had the chance to look inward, I realized that this independence was a protection mechanism for me. I’ve been able to learn that hyper independence is a trauma response and by allowing myself to be vulnerable, it has been liberating. It has helped me create deep levels of mutual trust in safe and healthy relationships.”
One important area for this newfound level of trust has been with Mary’s partner, Heather, and their baby dogs Mister Red and Maddie. With the pandemic becoming more under control, Mary and Heather are looking forward to traveling safely around the world and experiencing different cultures – especially through food! Says Mary, “I love learning about history and traditions, especially when it comes to food culture. I cannot wait to bring Heather to the Philippines so I can share that important part of my life with her.”
What words of wisdom would you like to pass on to Baddie Nation?
Live your life for you - not by anyone else’s expectations. In the past, I’ve sacrificed my own happiness and peace for the sake of others, and it never ends well. Also, if you are looking for the authentic people in your life, look for those who are happy when you are happy. Those are the people you want in your life.